Today is day one of recording. I’m scared, there is a lot of anxiety about getting these songs right but there is also hope that if I don’t I don’t have to practice them anymore and I can work on new music. Plus where else am I going to get 9 days off again? Somethings I can do to push through the fear is break the problem down into small peaces. I already spent a lot of time setting up, labeling the interfaces, the microphones, the right cables, practicing the songs twice a day. knowing what I’m fearing and avoiding: it’s playing along to the metronome. it’s when the vocals don’t sound right. it’s knowing how tried I get and not playing the other instruments well. it’s the fact that I still have to take care of my other responsibilities.

I call a person who lives in Maui whenever I get too into my head. It’s not free, it’s not a friend, it’s completely therapeutic. Of course, I called her after the fires and she is safe. Things are scary out there. I live in Cleveland, so I’m not in a utopian bubble, but we are savage human beings. Is that how bad things are, that Pompeii is happening again? Is that how far we have come. Pompeii has multiple concepts related to it. First, it is an actual place where people lived and a volcano exploded and it devastated the town. The Cleveland Museum of Arts had a badass exposition of Pompeii in 2023. Artists would impose meaning to this explosion was a punishment for a decadent lifestyle. The images of the burnt cars trying to leave Maui are striking me like these images of Pompeii. Where did we go that wrong that something like this could happen in the modern world. My counselor didn’t want to talk about Maui much. She has a way of sounding like Marcus Aurelius, she actually listens, she cares about the soul, and gives benevolent advice like a well experienced grandparent figure. I’m lucky to have her and don’t know where I would be without her.

Recording at home, I wanted to find something outside my house but everything kept falling flat. The fun of being quiet.

I bought a nice arranger (Yamaha PSR-E473 61-key). I think there are ones that are much fancier, but this one is way better then one I’ve ever had in the past. It’s worth writing home about because I was not sure I would actually use it. I bought a MIDI keyboard ten years ago that I haven’t played much. I use a mini-yamaha (PSS-A50) daily to practice piano on because it is portable. I have a mellotron too but I broke a key on it. I had no idea how much practicing on the mini keyboard was actually stunting my growth. I’ve had this arranger for less than a week now and I think I’ve gotten a lot better at playing piano. I also played guitar with the backing styles and it was a blast. I even drummed to the styles too. I’m stoked. I used to record music a lot when I was a kid, I stopped and I’ve been trying to piece together why. I broke my two previous arrangers. That may be why. So today is day one, wish me luck.

Here are some pics of my arrangers: starting from 20 years ago, then 10 years ago, and finally to today. Gates Mills, Detroit, to Cleveland again.